Why can't I learn?

It's come to the point where it really doesn't matter what I say to my mother, she actually truly believes that I'm seriously hardcore mentally ill. Any words or thoughts that come from me are just words of an insane woman. How did this happen? I know for myself that I may have my depression issues, but I'm not seriously mentally ill. My husband, a man that I've spent pretty much 24/7 with for 4 years will contest that I'm very sane, sad and moody, yet sane. I'm not sure how many people can attest to have spent that much time with their husband. Their child, perhaps... but most families one of the members are out doing work, where as to our near demise we have not been away from each other with work. We literally spend almost every waking hour together.... which would now show why we get so annoyed with each other so often and quickly lately.
Anyway back to my insanity...... I just don't get it. I mean I see that she has issues, and she has admitted to those issues and said that she is very bipolar but she is good due to the drugs that she is taking. OK, I'm sorry but that woman is not good, she changes her mind faster and more dramatically then anyone I've ever come in contact with. Last post I spoke about the 5 bedroom in St. Paul, which by the way after seeing it I loved it and was totally excited for it, looking for schools for Riley and places that we would shop at, or places where Jeff could apply for. Well the day after we looked at the house (the morning really) she came to me and said that she didn't think we could take care of such a large house with the utilities perhaps becoming too much. Jeff said that he would get two jobs, he would work it out..... but no she said no. I then asked her what then, and she responded by saying "You'll have to go back to Kansas". WHAT!!!!! I couldn't believe it, the only reason we came here was due to not being able to live with the woman in KS...... we didn't come to the house homeless or even jobless. We had/have a house in Kansas that we own, and yes Jeff didn't have full time work, he was able to find work off and on in KS. But that didn't matter, the effects of the woman on my children didn't matter...... she wanted us out of her house and that was it.
Then we get to KS and the next day she is texting Jeff about more houses that her friend could help her/us out with in MN or how we have to get in touch with her brother Jeff in Iowa to look into a job and house there. I'm sorry but I'm the seriously mental ill one? She can't stay in one area longer than an hour...... so if I am mentally ill perhaps its from her. Perhaps all her mood changing and empty promises and just how she is makes me fucking crazy.
What breaks my heart is that when we first got there in MN a few months ago my mother commented on how much Savannah was like me. She then went on to say how she has to get on her and change her and make sure that she doesn't keep going like she's going..... you know cause god forbid Savannah actually end up like me. Well so she started on her little mission to change Savannah, taking her with her to the store and just doing little things with her... that lasted (literally, absolutely the truths) two days. After that two days my mother said she couldn't deal with her and well pretty much didn't deal with her, she was pushed aside as much as possible. The last week there my mother was giving Riley her breakfast (a simple bowl of cereal) and Savannah came up and wanted some too, and my mother actually ignored her....just simply ignored her. I had a poor three year old little girl come crying to me saying that Riley got cereal and she couldn't get any, so I had to find a way to calm her down and just get her it myself. I mean my god...... no wonder I hate myself and did the hateful things I've done to myself throughout my life..... my mother can't stand me and obviously never could. She couldn't even give her granddaughter breakfast because she has come to dislike her so much due to the fact that she reminds her of me. And I'm the seriously mentally ill person.
God, I just don't know what to do..... really please God I need help here. How can this woman be my mother? How can a mother feel such a way about her child? And why do I still want to run after her and beg for her to hear me and hold me..... In my head I say that this woman is ruining you... and your children, to get as far away as possible because she is only going to hurt me over and over again..... but I can't I honestly can't I impulsively talk to her or text her or e-mail her... just hoping she will be my mom, someone that loves me unconditionally and doesn't see me as just a crazy woman that plays a victim.... some woman that blames everyone but herself, when I'm the only one to blame..... someone that has hurt her more than anything and has used her and abused her....... how do I change this woman's views? I've done nothing of the sort, I would die fighting for her honor..... I was always a mommas girl, putting her up on a pedestal. Now I come to find out that she can't stand me and thinks I'm insane therefore listening to a word I'd say would be insane in itself. Not that she hears me, she only hears the voices inside her head.

I'm so excited and happy to be moving to Iowa and for Jeff to be working on the farm that my family owns. I've always dreamed of living on a farm, and am so scared that this dream too will become a nightmare. I just want to live a happy life in the country, hopefully get some animals after awhile, perhaps a horse. To hang the clothes to dry on the line, to grow a flower and veggie/fruit garden..... to live a happy simple life.
Yet this woman hangs over me like a dark cloud. If she sees that I am able to be happy will she finally give me some space, some acceptance? Or is she just so sick herself that no matter what she will see me as wrong and sick..... I could never ever do anything like she has and will do to us to my children.... she is no real mother, she doesn't even know the meaning of the word. And all that does is make me cry...... for all I ever wanted was a mother, a mother that would let me sit in her lap and not push me off......