Tired of the married "single" mom syndrome

I love my husband very much and he does a lot of fun things with the kids that I just don't do. I grew up with a mom that didn't "play" and sadly I'd have to say that I am the same way. I'd love to say that I was the mom that got down on the ground and played barbies and did crafts with her kids, but I'm just not. I do spend all, I mean really all day with them and most of the time I have one climbing me or sitting on me or touching me somehow, but it is not playing. Jeff does do some of this sort of stuff with them and that is so wonderful and exactly what I looked for in a husband. With all this greatness, I still often feel like a single mom. Its always me that is the one they come to with any and everything. I make their dinners (not 100% of the time, but when he does it usually ends up with him arguing with the kids about what food dinner consists of) I get their snacks, I give them their hugs and kisses when hurt. I do it all (I'm not trying to take away the few times that he does do things, so I'm sorry if it feels that way) my entire life is made up of children, I'm completely emotional and physically drained. I just don't understand how he can not see this or get this. Why does he see when I'm getting upset with the kids and so then yells at the kids to get off of me (which actually ends up in a disaster and with me spending more energy on the "wounded" child) but doesn't see how if he took a role as an equal parent could completely change my life. OH, how much happier and relaxed I could be if I could type this without one child climbing on me and trying to type and another crying at my feet, then now another comes and asks what I'm doing and tell her what I'm writing and tell her how to spell an entire story that she is making up...... He says that he can't help it that I'm the one that they come to, but geez does it take a genius to see that I'm the one they come to because I give them understanding, patience, time and just love for even the times that they are truly driving me crazy.... I mean really a couple days alone in solitary sounds OK sometimes. Why can't he just give up his things that he needs and give the kids a moment instead of shooing them off, gateing them out of the room he's in, yelling at them and punishing them when the interrupt his "moments"? Why do I have to give up all of myself and he does not? Isn't this why we get married.... I mean not all but come on a good part. So we have another parent there to take off some of our load, another hand when you need a second of silence, a person to take over when your are sitting there crying just because you want to give those perfect children every single bit of what they deserve, a great view and morals and happiness in themselves and the world..... and you just don't have it in you because they have sucked every last bit of common sense out of you, because at that very moment you hate that man that you love so much, their beloved Dad cause he gets his moment alone just because he had to spend the morning with the babies cause you went to chaperon a field trip. Why oh why does this happen to us, I know I'm not the only married mom out there that feels this way. What can we do or say that can possibly make them understand that just because we have a vagina doesn't mean we can handle having our very souls and minds taken over by the littlest people that we love so very much. Please if you have a clue on how to talk to these men, our husbands without hurting their prides or feelings (because I've come to discover that the true sensitive weaker sex is the male) I would love to know what you have to say, cause I'm going nuts and I love my kids way too much to not give them all that I know they deserve and I can't be nuts to do that.
Don't worry, I'm still extremely happy with my life, just a little exhausted and more then a little frustrated with the man that I love.